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Nothing else left to lose

To err is human, to forgive divine.

As it goes right now, I'm back in my childhood home, back up North, single and unemployed. Five months ago I moved to London, happy that I was finally joining The Boy and not having to spend every Friday night catching the 17.40 down to London, happy that I could class myself as a permanent resident in the city I love.

I still love London, more so than ever, but The Boy and I went our separate ways after breaking up in October and then we ended things quite recently after giving it another shot. I'll just say that I know my failings more than anyone else, I don't need to be told them, but I do need to break them. You live and learn.

After a rocky few months in London, it felt like I'd made the right decision when I decided not to renew my contract at work last week (they wanted to tie me into a 3 month notice period knowing I was job hunting - I only ever agreed to cover a 5 month maternity leave role which ended last Friday). "Brave" was a word I heard a lot in reaction, but the moment I said no, I knew I had made the right decision - that it was about time to throw caution to the wind and go into the great unknown rather than lock myself into something I was unhappy doing until the end of April.

So, I sit here writing this in my childhood home, back up North, single and unemployed. And I'm OK with this. I have some exciting interviews coming up, a few potential interviews/interview outcomes in the pipeline, and I'm enjoying a week out of London to clear my head. What's happened has happened - I can't take that back - I can only say sorry, learn from it, be better, stronger, and go back to London ready to start the next chapter. But this time I go to London with an open mind, aiming not to dismiss that unknown through fear, willing to - eventually - reopen myself to the possibility of ... something.

To err is human, to forgive divine. We all make mistakes. But it's picking ourselves up from them, forgiving ourselves and moving on, that's what matters. xoxo

4 comments:

  1. Hey Lovely. I know that handing in your notice and leaving was a huge decision and if I can help with anything please let me know :)

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  2. You are a lot braver than you think - in regards to both leaving your job and The Boy situation. It's difficult to try and do the right thing without hurting anyone, and it's incredibly easy to fall into the 'things will work out' trap. You did good x

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  3. Like i said elsewhere i think you're very brave and well done to you x

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  4. You are so much braver than I am. *Hugs*

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