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Feeling lost

I'm feeling a little bit lost right now, sort of like I'm in no-man's-land. This morning I was in Dorset, now I'm in Yorkshire, and for an hour this morning I was in my flat in London.

Tomorrow afternoon I head back to London with more things - mainly my writing drafts, laptop and odds and ends - but part of me feels like I don't want to go. It's silly. I know I'll be fine when I get there, unpack, and make my room mine, but there is a small part of me that believes I could quite happily stay here.

But, I experienced the same thing when I first moved to Scotland for university - I really didn't want to go. There were tears, there were tantrums, but flash forward to six weeks before my first year had even finished and I was crying my eyes out at the thought of having to leave for the summer!

And, the thing is, this is completely different. I moved to St Andrews knowing no one; I'm moving to London where my boyfriend, best friend and lots of my friends live. I'm a lot more older and wiser than I was at 18 (supposingly) - am I wrong to feel apprehensive and a little lost? Probably, but right now that's how I feel. Roll on next weekend when I'm settled in and have survived my first week in my new job - I'm sure I'll scoff at these worries this time next week, I hope so anyway! xoxo

4 comments:

  1. I think you have every right to feel a little lost - London is crazy - even when I tried to walk slowly through Kings Cross I got swept along with the people and still walked fast.

    I'm sure all your friends will take care of you :) and who knows i might get to come and meet you in the near future :D

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  2. You'll be fine once you're there but the in-between shuttling back and forwards bit is always going to be hard. Get something lovely arranged for your first proper weekend there and you'll forget to be sad x

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  3. It's totally natural to feel nervous and change, and London is a scary place in some ways. I've only been in my flat in London for a week now and spent most of that week fleeing back home to my family home in Cambridge.

    Once you've settled in properly, been working normally for a few weeks, etc. it'll all be good.

    We should go for coffee some time as well now that you live in London.

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  4. All perfectly normal IMO. Moving is the most stressful thing you can do, and you've got to that there London.

    In all honesty I think you should be damn proud of yourself.

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